Dichotomy

That is my new favorite word...dichotomy!!

For the past week my mind has been a dichotomy of thoughts. You see, I never wanted any of my children to share in the experience of having a little newborn baby in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). Days become one big roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Nothing is quite so hard as seeing your infant hooked up to all kinds of tubes with alarms, bells and whistles going off constantly. One doctor says one thing, and another doctor says something completely different. Some nurses are great and some are horrible. All you want is to get your baby out of that place. Away from tubes and noises and into the peace and quiet of your home.

However, when you go through trials like that you find a strength beyond your own. You can feel the faith and prayers of others. You grow closer to Heavenly Father and understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ clearer. You can see miracles unfold right before your eyes. You see the good that comes from others who love and care for you and your family. Who wouldn't want that for their children?

I don't know how to reconcile those two opposing thoughts. Then again maybe I don't have too! They can stay there in my mind...a dichotomy.